Names are our first archetypes, the sound clusters we respond to before we understand them. I once imagined a world without names. How would we ever find ourselves in it? Language needs names to shape stories and give the world form.
But I still wonder:
What image of us flickers in someone’s mind when they say our name when we are absent? Which version do they see? Which memory? Which projection?
I love those reflections/questions. What lingers is so important. But unfortunately, sometimes, people have mind up their minds of what someone ‘should’ be by hearing names. Thank you for reading Bertold, appreciate it!
Of course, we don’t have access to how others perceive us when they speak about us, nor do I really want to. But a name seems to carry and reshape all the beliefs others hold about us. These beliefs get filtered through their emotions and, often unconsciously, determine whether we are seen as valuable or not. That’s how we get labeled; quickly, instinctively, sorted into categories that may have little to do with who we truly are.
Agreed. As an emigrant, I've had people mangle my name so hard I'd rather they don't use it. Some genuinely want to try but most fail. That's why when my kids were born, I gave them first names from the country of their birth AND the culture of their birth. Best of both worlds.
Thank you for this piece. I work as hard as possible to learn names and pronounce them correctly. In my teachings as a pastor, I often share with my congregation that the most humanizing thing we can do is learn a person’s name. It restores human dignity, especially for those who work thankless customer service jobs.
Now… I want to juxtapose that with… my last name is often butchered. People call me “Alfonzo” or spell it Alonzo” when I am an “Alonso.”
I often encourage people to get other people’s names right… But I don't usually advocate for people to get mine right. I'm working on that.
This is a very thoughtful essay thank you. I’m currently working on being better at remembering names when I first meet people.
That’s an amazing start in making someone feel seen :)!
Names are our first archetypes, the sound clusters we respond to before we understand them. I once imagined a world without names. How would we ever find ourselves in it? Language needs names to shape stories and give the world form.
But I still wonder:
What image of us flickers in someone’s mind when they say our name when we are absent? Which version do they see? Which memory? Which projection?
I love those reflections/questions. What lingers is so important. But unfortunately, sometimes, people have mind up their minds of what someone ‘should’ be by hearing names. Thank you for reading Bertold, appreciate it!
Of course, we don’t have access to how others perceive us when they speak about us, nor do I really want to. But a name seems to carry and reshape all the beliefs others hold about us. These beliefs get filtered through their emotions and, often unconsciously, determine whether we are seen as valuable or not. That’s how we get labeled; quickly, instinctively, sorted into categories that may have little to do with who we truly are.
Agreed. As an emigrant, I've had people mangle my name so hard I'd rather they don't use it. Some genuinely want to try but most fail. That's why when my kids were born, I gave them first names from the country of their birth AND the culture of their birth. Best of both worlds.
That is really beautiful, happy to hear you could give them that. Thank you for reading and sharing your story!
Totally agree. People shorten my name all the time. Chris. I don't like it. My name is Christine.
And so it is! Thank you for reading and sharing your personal experience Christine!
Thank you for this piece. I work as hard as possible to learn names and pronounce them correctly. In my teachings as a pastor, I often share with my congregation that the most humanizing thing we can do is learn a person’s name. It restores human dignity, especially for those who work thankless customer service jobs.
Now… I want to juxtapose that with… my last name is often butchered. People call me “Alfonzo” or spell it Alonzo” when I am an “Alonso.”
I often encourage people to get other people’s names right… But I don't usually advocate for people to get mine right. I'm working on that.
Thanks for your thoughtful reflections.
Thank you (as always!) for reading and sharing your personal story. I will advocate for your name as well!
You're welcome and Thank you! :)