Lessons from Children

Primary school teacher Claudia on humility, belonging, forgiveness, and what children can teach us about being human.

One of the reasons I started Life of Others is the belief that we learn about ourselves through other people.

When I came across claudia’s writing, I was struck by how often her reflections on children were actually reflections on adulthood. Her observations weren’t just about the children in her classroom. They were about all of us.

As a primary school teacher, Claudia spends her days observing children learn, connect, struggle, forgive, and grow. Over time, those observations have become lessons about human nature itself.

In this conversation, she reflects on what children have taught her about belonging, humility, identity, forgiveness, and what it means to remain teachable throughout life.

Before we begin, could you tell us a bit about yourself and your Substack? What inspired you to start writing about the lessons you’ve learned from working with children?

Hi! I’m Claudia. I’m a primary school teacher. I also dabble in a few other things like writing, stationery design, tutoring, and creating educational resources.

My Substack is basically just a collection of my very many thoughts! There are poems in there, fiction, life lessons, and personal essays. But what inspired me to join Substack were the lessons I’ve learned from working with children. I have always appreciated anthropology, and working so closely with children has definitely opened my eyes to things that I could stand to learn from them as an adult.

You spend your days observing children learn, connect, struggle, and grow. What have they taught you about human nature?

So many things! One prominent lesson is how easily they let things go. Generally speaking, children do not bear grudges. They have their feelings and then they are over it; they forgive, let go, and move on. This is such a stark contrast to how most adults can be, unable to let things go and determined to deal out to others what we think they deserve.

Another lesson is how willing they are to learn new things. They have such adaptable mindsets and always seem to have room for more information, even if it is contrary to, or expands upon, an existing belief. Many adults are set in their ways, established in their beliefs, and unwilling to entertain anything new.

I feel like these changes happen naturally as we age and grow in experience. However, I can’t help but see the treasure in these traits that children naturally possess. We should never want to stop learning because none of us will ever reach the point where we know everything. The ability to let go of certain situations and move on does wonders for our own peace and contentment in life.

What is something children understand intuitively that many adults seem to lose along the way?

They understand that things overall aren’t that serious and they certainly seem happier for it!

In one of my articles, I gave the example of children going from intense falling outs to exchanged birthday invitations all in the same week. They just seem to get that things happen, emotions can be had, and then we resume!

Maybe that’s a bit too simplistic for some adult situations, but aspiring to a version of this would certainly give me more peace, that’s for sure.

Is there a particular child or moment in your classroom that changed how you see life?

Yes! I gave this example in an article:

“During my teacher training, I remember observing a Year 5 lesson on enlightenment in Buddhism. Sat on a small chair at the back of the classroom, I heard a student say something that would eventually give me a lot to think about:

‘I’m changing religion! I wanna be a Buddhist and reach enlightenment!’

Now there’s obviously a lot to question here about the child’s genuine understanding of what he had said. It is more likely that this child was enthralled by the concept of inner peace or attaining this abstract, mystical state in which one is wiser, freer, and more compassionate.

But what struck me was how quickly he was willing to make a change, embark on a U turn, and change gears because of something he had just learned.”

We often think of children as the ones learning from adults. In what ways have the children you’ve taught become your teachers?

I am naturally quite observant, so I’ve always noticed particular behavioural patterns in children which often contrast those seen in most adults.

I also really enjoy the book Those Who Are Proud by Dag Heward Mills, which has a whole chapter on the natural qualities of children. After reading this, I definitely began to identify some of the qualities mentioned in the book in the children I teach, and would naturally compare this to adult presentation.

What have children taught you about belonging and the human need to be seen, accepted, and understood?

We have an internal desire to belong and to be accepted, which can definitely be seen in children. From their love for attention and desire to be “chosen” to even just answer a question, to their hurt response when they feel left out, this is evident.

Even with very young children, there are many fires to put out regarding friendship issues, usually where one person feels excluded.

Many adults struggle with self doubt and the fear of getting things wrong. What have children taught you about courage, failure, and trying again?

I have seen children struggle with the same things. I do think it’s at least partly linked to temperament. However, with children there does seem to be more of a willingness to learn. If they don’t understand something the first time, they are usually willing to listen to another explanation. They tend to ask for help rather than giving up straight away.

We actively teach them that they are here to learn and that mistakes are a part of that process, to combat the fear of making mistakes. We also offer a lot of praise and encouragement.

Maybe the unwritten rule that adults are supposed to have it all figured out, combined with the growing inclination towards idealism and performance, contributes to the self doubt and fear. But we are still all just figuring it out and that’s okay.

What qualities do children possess that you wish more adults protected in themselves?

If I had to sum it up in one word, I would say: humility.

I think this quality, contrasting the pride of adults, is where many of the other positive qualities I’ve observed stem from, such as the ability to forgive more easily and their willingness to learn new things.

Through your work, what have you learned about identity and how people become who they are?

Children already have distinctive personalities from a young age. It’s so lovely to witness and really does enrich a classroom. They are very open, so it’s usually quite clear to see how various people and circumstances influence who they are, what they learn from family members, extracurricular activities they may be involved in, how religious their family may be, and so on.

What is a misconception adults have about children that you’d like to challenge?

Maybe seeing children as less than, or not quite fully a person yet?

Children are truly great human beings. We can stand to learn so much from them.

Looking at the world through children’s eyes every day, what gives you hope?

• It’s possible to do hard things.

• That thing that may feel deep in the moment really isn’t that deep in the grand scheme of things.

• Give yourself permission to be present and really have fun in the ordinary things.

What have children taught you about relationships, friendship, and conflict?

Children can have big emotions just like adults. They get hurt, fall out with friends, and have misunderstandings.

I’ve found that it can be really difficult for children to handle those big emotions in the moment. But after each party has had a chance to explain, the teacher mediates, apologies are exchanged, and the friendship is typically restored and everyone goes away happy.

It paints a picture of a simpler means of conflict resolution. I think pride can get in the way of this for some adults. Feeling like the other party is undeserving of our forgiveness, or like we have to “punish” them somehow through silent treatment or some other means.

But the truth is we all make mistakes and should aim to forgive as much as we can. It’s not a weakness; it’s a strength.

Has working with children changed how you approach your own life, ambitions, or definition of success?

It has. I try to develop humility, particularly by remaining open to learning from others.

That has actually been one of the nicer things about being on Substack. Opportunities to learn and develop are everywhere. I try to approach everything I read with an open mind and actively look for lessons in my life. Children are like sponges; they do this naturally.

We can even learn from nature. As a Christian, I have come across Scriptures detailing lessons we can glean from ants, birds, lilies, and even the skies.

What is a lesson you’ve learned from a child that you return to often?

Children learn a lot by copying. “I do, we do, you do” is a common teaching method and it works.

As an adult, I try to fight the pride that wells up within me and copy strategies that have worked for others. This goes hand in hand with being teachable. It saves more time than trying unsuccessfully to reinvent the wheel, that’s for sure.

If people spent more time listening to children, what might we learn about ourselves?

I think we would learn that many of our deepest human needs never really disappear; we just become better at disguising them.

Children are often very transparent. They want to belong, to be chosen, to be listened to, and to be understood. Adults want these things too, but we tend to express them differently.

I also think we would learn how much pride can shape our behaviour. Children are usually more willing to ask questions, admit when they do not know something, and seek help when they need it. As adults, we can feel pressure to appear as though we have everything figured out.

Listening to children reminds us that there is strength in humility and that being teachable is not something we should outgrow.

Ultimately, I think children hold up a mirror to our humanity. Their lives highlight both the things we naturally long for and some of the qualities we lose along the way. If we paid closer attention, we might rediscover parts of ourselves that adulthood has taught us to suppress.

The name of this series is Life of Others. What have the lives of the children you’ve met taught you about your own?

They have taught me to approach life with greater humility.

Every child who has entered my classroom has arrived with their own personality, experiences, strengths, and struggles, and observing them has continually reminded me that there is always something new to learn.

Working with children has encouraged me to remain open minded and teachable. It has challenged the idea that growing older means becoming fixed in our ways. Instead, I have tried to adopt some of the qualities children possess so naturally: curiosity, adaptability, forgiveness, and a willingness to try again.

Most importantly, they have taught me not to take life quite so seriously all the time. Children find joy in ordinary moments. They bounce back from disappointments, celebrate small victories, and throw themselves wholeheartedly into the present. Through them, I have been reminded to extend myself grace, embrace the process of learning, and make room for wonder in everyday life.

In many ways, the children I have taught have shaped the adult I am still becoming. They may have arrived in my classroom expecting me to be their teacher, but they have taught me just as much about what it means to be human.

Reading Claudia’s reflections, I found myself returning to a simple question: when did we stop being as teachable as we once were?

Children are often described as unfinished adults, people who have yet to learn how the world works. Yet Claudia’s experiences suggest that, in some ways, they possess qualities many adults spend years trying to recover: curiosity, adaptability, humility, forgiveness.

Perhaps that is what makes this conversation such a fitting addition to Life of Others. It reminds us that wisdom does not always come from those with the most experience, the most authority, or the loudest voice in the room.

Sometimes it comes from paying closer attention to the people we assume have less to teach us.

And sometimes, through the lives of others, we rediscover parts of ourselves.

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Life of Others is an ongoing exploration of the human experience. Through conversations with people from different walks of life, we uncover lessons about identity, growth, relationships, and meaning, reminding us that the lives of others often hold a mirror to our own.